Jesus TruckNutz-Festooning Christ. The one factor lacking is Michael Dukakis’ tank helmet. How a lot you wanna guess that beard is, like, 98% glued-on gibbon pubes?
Now, I’m not saying I’d do any higher than Ted did right here. Then once more, I’m not attempting to faux I’m a person of the individuals by encouraging working-class truckers to hazard their lives, their long-term well being, and their households’ futures for no discernible cause.
After all, that is removed from the primary time Cruz has fallen on his face making an attempt to be an everyman. Keep in mind when he known as a basketball hoop a basketball “ring”?
Or the time he left his hardworking constituents behind to freeze to loss of life whereas he Cancuned it in another country?
However that is arguably extra embarrassing, as a result of it explodes the powerful man delusion he’s meticulously tried to domesticate.
Evidently, I’m not the one one who observed …
Ah, Ted. Sooner or later you’ll be accepted. Not by people, after all—however I can solely assume you’ll be a key collaborator for the Reptilians of the Draco Constellation as soon as they lastly reveal themselves. Till then … carry on suckin’.
It made comic Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted writer Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that’s). What’s it? The viral letter that launched 4 hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get all of them, together with the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, in the event you choose a check drive, you may download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
