On Saturday, Lindell was noticed outdoors the Cheyenne, Wyoming, cease of Donald Trump’s Cross-Nation Liz Cheney Vendetta Tour, complaining about one more spherical of stolen elections.
Transcript, with non-words, title mispronunciations, and all!
REPORTER: “You already know, one thing that was disagreeable to me about—the Georgia election simply occurred, and I don’t understand how my fellow Georgians have been capable of consciously reelect Brad Raffensperger …”
LINDELL: “They didn’t. It was stoled. It was stoled. There have been algorithms utilized in Georgia, however we caught ‘em. We have been watching. All people was watching this time.”
REPORTER: “Once more?”
LINDELL: “Once more. In opposition to Raffsenberger, was it Jody …”
REPORTER: “Hice …”
LINDELL: “Hice. The algorithm went by Georgia in I don’t know what number of counties out of 159, I feel it’s like 100 and a few. The identical share of votes, like 17%. … All they did in Georgia [pantomimes typing], simply dialed up. It’s referred to as a variety, not an election. We don’t have elections anymore, we’ve got choices. Therefore the title of the film, Choice Code. SelectionCode.com. The whole lot in Georgia was stoled, they usually did that for 2 causes. One is that they needed to push it in our actual president’s face and go, ‘Oh, your endorsements don’t imply something.’ You already know what, you made it so apparent. Do you suppose crooked Brian Kemp received 73% or no matter? Unattainable. Brad Raffsenberger is the largest felony within the nation. … Brad will get 51%? No he didn’t. He stole that election.”
In case any of you’re brainstorming everlasting punishments for me so you possibly can earn additional brownie factors from Devil, you would possibly wish to put “transcribe all the things Mike Lindell says whereas Donald Trump appears over your shoulder consuming Crunch ‘n Munch” on the listing. As a result of I might not look after that within the least.
Not solely has Lindell nonetheless not discovered the right way to pronounce the title of his primary nemesis, Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger (whom Lindell recurrently accuses of conspiring handy Trump an illegitimate loss in Georgia), he additionally seems unwilling to simply accept Gov. Brian Kemp’s landslide victory over Trump’s handpicked toady, former Sen. David Perdue—regardless that pre-election polling showed Kemp easily defeating his opponent. And, after all, as everybody is aware of, for those who’re going to steal an election, ensure you win by more than 50 percentage points so nobody has any trigger to get suspicious.
Finding out Pillow Man’s election gibberish is a bit like being tasked with discovering the Higgs boson—however being advised you possibly can solely search for it in specifically marked packing containers of Boo Berry. For somebody who consistently complains about vote-rigging, Lindell has someway rigged his head to consider that nobody he doesn’t like might ever win an election once more.
Perhaps someday he’ll kick this new dependancy and return to, I don’t know, promoting crappy pillows? Only a thought.
Take a look at Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, together with the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, for those who favor a check drive, you possibly can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
