Many Americans are making it clear that they’re cutting ties with family and friends who voted for President-elect Donald Trump—and don’t count them in for this year’s holiday gatherings either. In the days following Nov. 5, videos on social media, especially TikTok, started flooding in, showing people either devastated, angry, or defiantly speaking out about feeling betrayed by family and friends.
“The family wants to know what I’m doing for the holidays,” TikTok user translovingmama shared. “I’m going to be here with my dogs and my daughter, who’s of childbearing age and now has to get an IUD at 17 years old. And I’m going to be here with my son, who is a political target. And that should really tell you all you need to know about why I’m not going to be hanging out with y’all for the holidays. So, fuck off.”
As Thanksgiving approaches, many Americans are vowing to spend it away from their MAGA family members.
“The threat is real”
Finn, a 27-year-old trans person in Colorado, who asked to remain anonymous for safety reasons, said when his parents asked about his holiday plans he said he wouldn’t be going back to Texas.
Finn said his conversations with his Republican parents, both Trump supporters, have become increasingly strained since 2016. His father claimed he didn’t believe that Trump would actually harm trans people, even though Finn insisted that Trump would and has harmed his community since being elected president—remember the transgender ban, preventing them from serving in the military?
Now, Finn has not only distanced himself from his family, but in 2024, he’s questioning whether he wants a relationship with them at all.
“I just don’t feel like being around my family is something I can safely or comfortably do right now,” he said in an interview with Daily Kos. “The harm is real. The threat is real. With all the anti-trans legislation passed recently, and knowing how this election has emboldened people in Texas to be even more hateful toward the queer community, I don’t feel safe.”
He expressed deep grief over the growing distance between him and his family.
“I feel really angry and sad about how things have shifted,” he said. “The upcoming administration, the media on the far-right—it’s all turned my family into people who vote for awful, shitty things. I can’t even recognize them anymore.”
The straw that broke the camel’s back
For Finn and many others, 2024 feels different. Trump being elected again, after years of watching his dangerous rise, was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Back in 2016, there were still questions about what Trump actually meant or could do. But after years of destruction, including his Supreme Court picks, it’s clear: his intentions are much darker this time. “If you’re voting for him now, after everything that’s happened in the last eight years, you have to know what he’s capable of,” Finn added.
Navigating overwhelming emotions around Trump and how to come to terms with family and friends who support the MAGA movement is something that social worker and JustAnswer.com psychology expert Jennifer Kelman said she sees more frequently now among her patients.
“Some have ended friendships and are struggling with sitting down at a table to celebrate the holidays with those that are part of the MAGA movement or support the agenda. Sometimes these views and agenda feels like a personal attack, and they aren’t able to remain in contact with family members that voted in a way that harms them,” Kelman said.
Those who voted for Trump have argued that “politics” shouldn’t come between friendships or family. But those who are choosing to cut ties aren’t buying it.
”The election transcends politics”
“This election transcends politics,” said psychotherapist Renee Zavislak, who specializes in trauma and hosts “Psycho Therapist: The Podcast.”
“The polarization is deeper this year, as the incoming administration presents a real and present danger to marginalized people. For those people who love a queer person, or an undocumented person, or a woman of childbearing age, tolerating MAGA means tolerating abuse and torture—and most of us don’t like torture around the Christmas tree.”
TikTok user lazialeinez chimed in: “Now that the election’s over, are we supposed to just go back to being friends? So even if you voted for Trump, I’m still supposed to be your friend? Yeah, in your fucking dreams,” he said. “You voted for a racist. A man who mocks disabled people. A man who took away women’s rights and is taking away gay rights. So no, you’re not my friend.”
Even Fox News host Jesse Watters shared his own family drama. “Apparently, there wasn’t enough room at my mom’s house for me this year,” he said on his show “Jesse Watters Primetime” after being disinvited from Thanksgiving by his Democratic mother.
Mayenakpan, another TikTok user, delivered a blunt message for those who may rely on their Democrat-voting relatives or friends for emotional stability.“Those of you who are so upset about people no longer being in your life over political differences, what you do know is happening is that your shock absorbers are leaving in droves,” said Mayenakpan in a post with the caption FAFO, which stands for “f-ck around and find out.”
“Your emotional regulators are saying, ‘You don’t have an invitation anymore.’ All that energy that you were siphoning from them, all that kindness, all that intimacy, all the solutions that they gave to you freely because they made space for you, that’s gone,” she said, erupting in laughter.
“I need space”
And she’s not alone. Take Andrea Tate, for instance. She wrote in an essay for Avisionews after her husband posted “God Bless America. God Bless #45, 47” on social media, she didn’t hold back. “I love you,” she texted, “but out of respect for me and all my liberal writer friends, can you please take that down? Also, tell your family I love them, but I won’t be coming to Thanksgiving, and I won’t be hosting Christmas. I need space.”
Tate’s response reflects what perhaps many Americans are feeling this holiday season: disillusionment. They’re coming to grips with those they once thought cared about their well-being, now swept up in the anti-democratic rhetoric, conspiracies, and draconian policies of Trump and his MAGA ilk.
“I will not give thanks and hold hands with people who voted for a party that wants to take rights away from LGBTQ people,” Tate wrote. “I won’t pass the turkey to someone who supports a party that targets disabled people or takes away reproductive rights. I won’t sit by the Christmas tree celebrating Jesus while so many are at risk of losing their lives because they can’t get the care they need. I won’t unwrap gifts from people who voted for a party that talked about internment camps and mass deportation.”
TikToker maamcrayons added, “They’re trying to gaslight you, telling you not to unfriend them just because they voted for Trump. It’s their own fear and trauma coming through. They’re too scared to stand up for what’s right, so they’re projecting that fear onto you.”
And for those still braving it with their MAGA relatives? Some users are turning the tension into humor. “What am I making for Thanksgiving?” TikTok user Erin Monroe asked. “I’ll be making a commotion, a mess, a scene … using my special recipe of sarcasm, dark humor, and a heaping scoop of female rage.”
For many this holiday season, it’s not about who’s sitting around the dinner table—it’s about who won’t be there and why.
